I must admit that I'm a victim of long distant relationship that never make it. I’ll say it right off the bat: I don’t believe in long distance relationships. If you live in the same city for a while, and then one person has to move away, and you're still in the city then maybe that long distance (might work) until you can make new arrangements to leave. But, if you go away to another city, state or country, meet someone for just a few days, and decide to try and form a relationship around that after you get home, you might be guilty of the following:
Some people like their space. They don’t want to have to make sacrifices for a relationship and dating someone long distance eliminates that factor. Plan a weekend here and there to see them but other than that, when you’re at home, you base your plans and your life around nobody but yourself.
Maybe you get too into relationships and having one in your town disrupts your life. You end up shacking up with the person and neglecting your friends, your family, your work—the rest of your life. Dating someone long distance keeps them safely away from affecting your love/life balance.
You don’t know how to get past infatuation
When you go to see someone you’re dating long distance, it’s like a mini vacation. It’s probably a weekend or you both take work off so, you have no idea what the person is like when they are stressed. You get to do fun, exciting things like go out for meals, go dancing, go to museum—vacation type things—that always create a spark. You don’t know if you’d still like them if all you did was hang out on the couch all week. Essentially, you put yourself in a constant state of infatuation, where you don’t really get to know someone. That could be because you’re afraid to get there because you might get bored of them, or them of you.
You’re not comfortable with who you are
You can pretend to be somebody else entirely when you’re dating somebody long distance. If you go visit them, you can put on a whole show with a different personality. Nobody you know is around to say, “Wait a minute…that’s not you!”
You’re not happy where you are
You might just be unhappy in your own circumstances. You may not like the town you live in, or your job, or your living situation. You might just be looking for somewhere to escape to on a regular basis.
All in all, dating someone long distance allows you to live in a fantasy land. All dynamics of a real, grownup relationship are removed from it. It’s easy, and if there is anything wrong with you, it takes a loooong time for those issues to pop up if you’re only seeing someone every few weeks, and it’s under vacation-type circumstances. If you in fact seek out a long distance relationship, you may just be doing whatever you can to not face the mirror and ask, “What is wrong with me?”