advice beautiful women

A Man, Hair & "REALITY TV" Don't Define Black Women!

February 29, 2012GWL Staff

It is no secret that black women today are on the receiving end of a full on media assault. We see this in the way we are depicted in popular culture, in movies, television, music and blogs. You can even try searching online and you’ll find various degrees of negative advertising when it comes to black women.

We are portrayed as undesirable, uneducated, unfit and uncouth. Despite the fact that these depictions are categorically false and preposterous as evidenced in our real day to day lives, the media is all too happy to continue to spew this caricature of us.

The effects of this onslaught can be seen in the way we lead our lives. Some of us –though we may not readily admit to this, react to our vulnerable standing in society by looking outward for validation. We become shopaholics, addicted to staying on top of the trends; we skim online retailers while multitasking at work and hit up the mall after work incessantly looking for the newest piece of fabric or MAC blush, with the

hopes that our purchase might even in the tiniest way give us that edge over the competition. Or, if that’s not you, maybe you seek validation in the arms of a man by going to great lengths to please him, whether that means loaning your car out to him twice a week, giving him money, or allowing him to get away with behavior that disrespects and demeans you, all for the sake of being able to say you have someone that claims you as their woman.

Then there are the women who spend a small fortune on their hair and keeping it impeccably styled while they are simultaneously late on their rent for the month. Now please don’t get me wrong, if this is not you, then I am not talking to you, but I think most of us can either relate directly to this or we know of someone who can. I understand that ALL races of women shop, allow men to get away with what they shouldn’t, and spend money on their hair. My concern is us as women of color and our underlying motivations when we participate in this irresponsible behavior. Could it be that we are trying to compensate for our feelings of unworthiness brought upon by our perceived low rank in society? If so, I would like to say that it will not work! These vices only help to further erode our self-esteem. The only way to respond to the media’s lies is to reject them!

We can show our rejection through our refusal to watch, purchase and patronize media outlets that propagate this false and incomplete image of Black women as a whole, instead of tuning into Basketball Wives on Vh1, we can tune into OWN. Instead of purchasing a Lil Wayne record, we could check out the latest offering from Esperanza Spalding. We can further show our rejection by using our education, intellect and ambitions to infiltrate the powers that be behind the networks and media outlets and becoming manufacturers of our own entertainment a la Tyler Perry and Oprah. And perhaps most importantly, we should show our rejection in our hearts, by affirming our self-worth inwardly; we do this by reminding ourselves of what our Creator says about us: “We are beautifully and wonderfully made in His image.”

Instead of seeking validation through unhealthy shopping excursions, men, and our hair, we should refocus our efforts into more formidable ventures such as learning about wealth building strategies; money is power and we as black women need to master our money in order to leave something for the generations to come. We can demand more from our men and carefully lay out our expectations, and if they are not met we can follow through on our threats to leave, fully knowing that there will be someone out there who will see us for the exemplary women we are. We can volunteer, get involved with a church or community group, or take up a new hobby because we know that when we focus on others and not ourselves, we begin to see the world differently and new possibilities and opportunities (not to mention new places to meet like-minded men) befall us.

I challenge every woman reading this to turn your face from the lies you see about yourself on the television or computer screen, funnel your energy into more substantive entertainment and create new and more satisfying life habits that work to affirm and reinforce your self worth.

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  1. Nobody wants these diseased ridden sows

  2. Is that a Bonobo?

  3. Your challenge to us is to "funnel your energy into more substantive entertainment"? You sound like you have your priorities mixed up. Entertainment is way down the list of things that are important, at least if I am trying to make myself worth liking, or worth hiring, or worth marrying. If I am trying to meet a man, I need to be someone that he wants to meet, and not some needy bitch who needs someone else to be responsible for my entertainment.

    Our media tells men what is desirable in a woman, but their inner man tells them otherwise. I want the man who listens to his own soul and not the soulless rabble-rousers who are paid to complain, and to push the next big booty sellout sister.

  4. You got to be kidding me. Nigger women are the ugliest things on this planet. They chimpout at the least little thing like when they don't get their welfare cheque on time. They stink of shit & beat their little niglets. Nigger hair is pubic in style so they shave it off to wear ridiculous looking wigs. You think that picture above is an example of a typical nigger sow lmfao. None of you come even close to the beauty & poise of a typical white woman. You have no maternal skills as shown by the amount of teenaper crime committed by your offspring. Create your own wealth hahaha take one look at Africa, good luck on that. I suppose all that's the fault of the white man huh, lmao retards.

  5. Gag, I'd sooer date a chimp than a shebeast. YT is NOT interested in cross species pro creation.

  6. Anyone that wold fuck one of these sheboon sows has an AIDS and STD deathwish! Nigger women are fugly shegrilla gigantiboon nigrapotamuses! Who would screw a monkey?

  7. Damn!

    Don't be so hard on monkeys.

  8. STANKY SMELLY TRANNY, look at the silicon on those TA-TA's. BLACK sows are FUGLY.

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  10. A buddy's mother makes $65 every hour on the computer. She has been without a job for seven months but last month her payment was $14505 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read more on this web site lazycash42.c()m

  11. Anonymous, what is your issue?

    You just prove the point of this blog.

    Black women are beautiful, colorful, sexy, and before Monsanto started screwing with our food and growth hormones, had the best Butts around, Bar None.

    But in truth, they have some serious competition now.

    Your rage makes you look like plain disinformation.

    The woman above is quite beautiful.

    You need a life.

  12. @AnonymousYou are a racist ass. Just thought I'd let you know.

  13. my co-worker's sister made $14187 past week. she gets paid on the computer and moved in a $426000 condo. All she did was

    get fortunate and follow the clues explained on this website lazycash42.c()m

  14. baby girL.Black women are fine, sexy, smart and 50 times as strong as the punk ass bitches commenting on the post. go ahead Black women you stayed strong when everything around you started falling apart. you are a essential part of the black famiy. As i said F--K them haters.

  15. Gosh i dont know why some rascist white people come on these things and try to bash black women, like anyone cares. you wanna be petty fine lets be petty

  16. It's the newest form of racism for the 21st century. Attack black women and black men and get them to attack each other to distract black people on the whole from our very real achievements. The longer the Obamas are in the white house...the deeper the attacks.


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